Monday, October 5, 2015

How I got here...

Just a quick summary of where I've been and how I got here...at the doorway to living my dream of traveling to Europe!

In highschool, I had a dream of traveling around Europe when I graduated and instead of going right out of high school, I waited until I had a year of college under my belt to ensure that I would get my education and not get distracted (hahahhah - that's funny now that I write it out - as if I could get distracted!!) - but this had been a real fear of my parents.

I also waited so that I could travel with a girlfriend because I wasn't confident to travel on my own, and in all honesty, I wouldn't have enjoyed my own company then. And, as fate would have it, my girlfriend backed out of going. And the similar thing happened with Steve as we talked about traveling to Europe if he didn't get into business school, but he did (smarty pants!).

So here I was basing my dream on other people's help and when they couldn't, I didn't! Inside my head, my blame lay on them (opps!) and then I remained "responsible" and "practical" and there became less and less room for frivolous dreams! Consequently, I became, through how I told the story, an A+ martyr. Feelings of pity, bitterness and resentment, and even hopelessness were building like sedimentary rocks inside me, weighing my soul down.

What changed?!!
PRAC 1 helped me see deeper below my consciousness to see the beliefs I had running to keep myself from having my dreams. There were family patterns of many lost dreams that caused people a lot of pain; there were people who barely had dreams; people who believed dreams are only attainable with hard work (so travel wouldn't neccessarily fit as a valued dream without hard work required); people who were afraid of dreams. When my genogram was complete, my differentiating step (a step that involves the carrier of the system [me] and moves them back into they system in a different way that they system needs) was to have my dream and travel.

Sounds lovely, right? Easy, right? NO WAY! ha ha! I was blocked with the beliefs of not having the time or the money (and unconsciously still believing that I am not worthy of having my dreams). So with the help of others, we created a smaller step for me before the big step. That was the Hornby Island holiday in 2012. I chose where I wanted to go, more affordable, and I included my extended family with a blog.

And then came the Summit!! Last summer, I stepped into my biggest, greatest self, and I got the opportunity to listen to the dreams that exist inside me and I was brave enough to value them. I was scared but I was also ready to shed the martyr mask that has not been serving me in living a life full out, and I wanted to find out what is on the other side of living my dreams...

I have already gained so much without having even left home yet! I know in my heart that I am worthy of my dreams and this trip is a step towards living more and more dreams. To have a life where I am always dreaming brings tears of joy and freedom to my eyes. Alleluiah!!

I can't wait to share my adventures with you. I am taking my whole self on this adventure - being bold, trusting, courageous, creative, full of faith and passion....oh yeah and being humourous too! Look out world - I'm soaking you up!

6 comments:

  1. Wow!! What a beautiful blog!!

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  2. You go mom!!!! I hope you have fun!!!! Tell me all about it when you get back! You too dad!!!!
    Love Makayla!

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  3. thats amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. Exciting to hear the story all written out... Have a great time and soak in as much as you can!!

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  6. You go Girl! I'm so proud that you are following your dreams! xo

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